Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Trips of Exploration and Adventure....

I have three big trips I hope to make this year!! In a way they are part of pilgrimage...though on the surface they are for completely different reasons.

America's Finest Half Marathon in San Diego, CA (I'm running the half marathon in August!).

Rockhill, SC (To visit my people and gather the stories of our ancestors).

Malaga, Spain (My resting place and sanctuary: Planning a trip to visit my friend Mikaela in Spain later this year or around the New Year! Doesn't that sun and sand look heavenly? And the blue of that ocean is just is beyond all blues...).

MY PILGRIMAGE...is to cease.


I love these quotes from Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger:

Jesus knew — knew — that we're carrying the Kingdom of Heaven around with us, inside, where we're all too goddam stupid and sentimental and unimaginative to look? You have to be a son of God to know that kind of stuff.
When you don't see Jesus for exactly what he was, you miss the whole point of the Jesus Prayer. If you don't understand Jesus, you can't understand his prayer — you don't get the prayer at all, you just get some kind of organized cant. Jesus was a supreme adept, by God, on a terribly important mission. I can't see why anybody — unless he was a child, or an angel, or a lucky simpleton like the pilgrim — would even want to say a prayer to a Jesus who was the least bit different from the way he looks and sounds in the New Testament. My God! He's only the most intelligent man in the Bible, that's all! Who isn't he head and shoulders over? Who? Both Testaments are full of pundits, prophets, disciples, favorite sons, Solomons, Isaiahs, Davids, Pauls — but, my God, who besides Jesus really knew which end was up? Nobody. Not Moses. Don't tell me Moses. He was a nice man, and he kept in beautiful touch with his God, and all that — but that's exactly the point. He had to keep in touch. Jesus realized there is no separation from God.

How in hell are you going to recognize a legitimate holy man when you see one if you don't even know a cup of consecrated chicken soup when it's right in front of your nose?I swear to you, you're missing the whole point of the Jesus Prayer. The Jesus Prayer has one aim, and one aim only. To endow the person who says it with Christ-Consciousness. Not to set up some little cozy, holier-than-thou trysting place with some sticky, adorable divine personage who'll take you in his arms and relieve you of all your duties and make all your nasty Weltschmerzen and Professor Tuppers go away and never come back. And by God, if you have intelligence enough to see that — and you do — and yet you refuse to see it, then you're misusing the prayer, you're using it to ask for a world full of dolls and saints and no Professor Tuppers.

"You can say the Jesus Prayer from now till doomsday, but if you don't realize that the only thing that counts in the religious life is detachment, I don't see how you'll ever even move an inch. Detachment, buddy, and only detachment. Desirelessness. 'Cessation from all hankerings.' It's this business of desiring, if you want to know the goddam truth, that makes an actor in the first place. Why're you making me tell you things you already know? Somewhere along the line — in one damn incarnation or another, if you like — you not only had a hankering to be an actor or an actress but to be a good one. You're stuck with it now. You can't just walk out on the results of your own hankerings. Cause and effect, buddy, cause and effect. The only thing you can do now, the only religious thing you can do, is act. Act for God, if you want to — be God's actress, if you want to. What could be prettier? You can at least try to, if you want to — there's nothing wrong in trying." There was a slight pause. "You'd better get busy, though, buddy. The goddam sands run out on you every time you turn around. I know what I'm talking about. You're lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddam phenomenal world."
I don't care where an actor acts. It can be in summer stock, it can be over a radio, it can be over television, it can be in a goddam Broadway theatre, complete with the most fashionable, most well-fed, most sunburned-looking audience you can imagine. But I'll tell you a terrible secret — Are you listening to me? There isn't anyone out there who isn't Seymour's Fat Lady. That includes your Professor Tupper, buddy. And all his goddam cousins by the dozens. There isn't anyone anywhere that isn't Seymour's Fat Lady. Don't you know that? Don't you know that goddam secret yet? And don't you know — listen to me, now — don't you know who that Fat Lady really is? . . . Ah, buddy. Ah, buddy. It's Christ Himself. Christ Himself, buddy.

It's been a long day...

Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/mateugrin/

This is my fantasty place today. It's magical and calling...

Something I realized this morning...It's been a long 3 years. And it's okay...this song says it pretty well.

It's been a long day
And all I've gotta say is make it strong
It's been a long day
And all I've gotta say is I've been wrong
So take a league of absence
Tell me you'll be gone
I don't wanna see your face
It's been a long day
And I just wanna hide away

It's been a long week
And all the lines come down heavy on me
It's been a long week
I'm finally feeling like it's ok to break
Into a thousand pieced
No one can replace
Only I can find my way
It's been a long day
And I just wanna hide away

It's been a long year
And everyone around me is disappearing
It's been a long year
And all this mess around me is finally clear
So can I have a moment
Just to say hello
Can u let your anger go
It's been a long year
And I'm finally ready to be here

Rosi Golan
It's Been A Long Day
Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZgTgpxj7Tc

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

You know how I feel...this is my theme song. Nina Simone you shatter me.


Before you do anything...check out the stunning Nina Simone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJA69C6SlRk

These roses are haunting in their fading beauty...

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

I'm feeling good